Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Adulting.

This is the second day in a row that I have accompanied my mom on two very important business meetings.

I mostly went due to the promise of coffee and an opportunity to dress business chic. Any occasion to get out of the house!

While most of the conversation went completely over my head (something about s-corp, joint ventures, and trust funds), I nodded my head and gave the impression of professional understanding and interested observer.

Mostly, I daydreamed and tried to wrap my head around the fact that I quite literally had no idea what they were talking about.

Then I realized something. This is what adulting looks and feels like.

Over the past few years, I've slowly started the transition into adulthood (whatever that really means). Filling out my own tax returns, taking the car in for service, applying for jobs, determining what the best move for me was as far as careers go, that sort of thing.

However. Living at home with a mom who's in the process of putting a coffee shop into a train car and a dad who never ceases an opportunity to photobomb my pictures really puts this whole adult thing into perspective.

They say the trick is to grow up without growing old. To grow into yourself, yet never lose your imagination, creativity, and passion. Adulthood doesn't mean discarding those things. To me, it means embracing them and fitting them in to whatever career path you chose.

There are times, I admit, when I feel that I'm a little kid trying to start her business in the world and all the adults look down on me and in condescending tones tell me my idea is "cute." But then there are days, like today, when our family's attorney acknowledges my presence at a meeting and after hearing about my project, applauds me for following my dream.

It's all about balance. And as my best friend Whitney titles her photo album: time to start adulting {kinda}. I'm blessed to live in a home that embraces both entrepreneurial spirit and downright goofy creativity.

Who says adulting can't be fun?





I wasn't joking when I told you my dad likes to photobomb!



Monday, March 20, 2017

New Season, New Start.

I could've told you that spring slipped in weeks ago, as our non-stop sunny weather has been nothing short of spectacular.

The forecast continues to call for sunshine the rest of the month, any snowflake icon quickly diminished on the weather app.

But today, spring has officially sprung, a season I am most happy to embrace!

And with new seasons come new starts.

That is, for me.

It's no surprise that I've been home these last few months, in transition from graduating college to whatever step I'm planning to take next. Some of it has been great, other times, I find myself habitually repeating my days, often ending in tears and low self-esteem.

I know it's normal. My mom returned home after graduating, and my dad even took a year off, not even to figure life out, but to ski! But I'm nonetheless taken aback because I had always planned on something bigger, something better.

Sometimes, though, life throws you a curveball and lodges itself in your perfect plan. It subsequently leaves you back to square one and with no next moves.

But if there's one thing I've really taken from all of this, one particular phrase that sits at the forefront of my mind, it's move forward.

Simple tasks, like talking to people, doing research, or even just sending an email, all moves me forward, no matter how trivial they may seem. I'm in no particular rush and as long as I continue to persevere in the direction of what makes my heart sing, I'm on the right track.

Like the new season, it's time to melt away all those outer layers of perseveration and over-thinking, and discover and come to peace with who I am and what my next journey will be.

It's a new season, and hopefully a new start.

I couldn't help but channel green and floral into my outfit today. I dressed like a-lawn. Like e-lawn. Like Elan.

Also, check out these wicked icicles, melting away, hopefully like my uncertainty..





Sunday, March 12, 2017

Scrapbook Nook.

My dad often jokes that when I'm not napping, I'm crafting away in the "scrapbook nook."

Well, he's definitely not kidding.

It's the truth. I share a craft room with my mom, which is right across the hall from my bedroom. This is where we let our creative juices flow. She works on her windows and I work on scrapbooking.

I know. It's terribly old-fashioned!

Laying out pictures on appropriate background paper, accessorized with stickers, rick-rack ribbon, and notes on the particular day I'm working on, I feel like Jennifer Garner in her office in 13 Going On 30. Very much like a magazine editor...

Image result for 13 going on 30 office jennifer garner

Being in there a bunch this year, I was starting to take Dad's jests personally, believing that I actually was a recluse who spent her days scrapbooking with her cat, but as I was looking through old notes, I came across this one I had found in London once upon a time ago.

Packaged around pens, the quote read:

"You control your future, your destiny.
What you think about comes about.
By recording your dreams and goals on paper,
you set in motion the process of becoming
the person you most want to be.
Put your future in good
hands- your own."
-Mark Victor Hansen

Aside from scrapbooking, I've also taken to writing letters to my friends, continuously writing in my journal, and I've started work on my new project. And I've come to realize that by relentlessly partaking in such activities, I was subconsciously setting things in motion.

Like the quote, I believe in the power of positive thinking. I've always recorded my dreams on paper, always made it a point to talk about them a little bit everyday, instilling the belief that the more you think, write, or talk about what you want, the more on track you'll be for making those dreams a reality.

So the next time someone makes fun of me for spending my Saturday night scrapbooking, I'll promptly inform them that I'm not just preserving the past, but I'm also planning for my future.

Notice the plethora of coffee cups? Sign of a coffeeholic right there...




Jokes aside, I do enjoy the company of my cat, who often wanders in and makes herself right at home, either on my lap, or strolling across my pages, not a care in the world...



But I manage to finish nonetheless!





Sunday, March 5, 2017

All Dressed Up & Nowhere To Go.

I think that one of the most common questions I've received since being home, besides the obvious So what are your plans next? are Why are you so dressed up?

But that's nothing new. I've been asked that since my days in grade school, where my most regular compliment was that I looked like a mom. Thank you?

In high school, my peers would go out of their way to comment on my attire if I was wearing something as normal as jeans. Elan! You dressed normal today! Thank you?

I've always had a propensity for dressing up and standing out. I stand six feet two inches and I've always celebrated my height, as well as my love for dressing up. Trip to the grocery store? Let me throw on a fur. Headed to the theatre for a movie? Let me find my black heels.

It's been like this for quite some time and although I'm back in Alaska for the time being, the cold weather and "Alaskan style" hasn't affected my adoration for donning my best vintage and curling my hair for no reason at all.

Take last night for instance. We purchased tickets for an auction raising money for a local baseball team and I showed up as I always do: high heels, vintage dress, curled hair, proper accessories, and one such fur wrapped about my shoulders. All about me, Alaskans looked on in confusion. I was surrounded by a sea of Extra Tuff, jeans, and Carharrt jackets. Course, there were a few brave souls like mine who dressed up as well, but for the most part, I definitely stood out.

It's one of my favorite feelings in the world! And being told I look like a Disney princess just made me feel like a million dollars indeed.

Perhaps I inspired someone to dress up for the next occasion around, or maybe I gave a few North Road Alaskans a chuckle. Either way, I encourage you to dress how you want to and to not give a darn about feeling overdressed.

Honey, there's no crime in being dressed up with nowhere to go. If it makes you happy, like it does me, then slip on those stilettos, zip up that vintage beaded top, and make your day at home a memorable one.






Also. Happy Birthday to Dad!


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Write On.

It was whilst showing my mom her first TED talk today that I inevitably became inspired.

Rupi Kaur, author of my favorite book milk and honey began the talk by opening her heart in a very raw manner, sharing the trauma and break in of her home/body. Her story, about crying Niagara Falls and wanting to end her life, so dramatically turned around when her heart whispered to her write the book.

And she was saved.

Writing has a way of doing that, I think.

I recently completed my forty-third journal, and that doesn't include the plethora of other subjects I cover in separate journals, such as travel, performing, working, and dreams.

Writing in a journal has been part of my life since the third grade, when I was encouraged by my teacher to keep record of what I did on vacation (hiking the Grand Canyon). Since then, I've written in a journal every single day.

Mostly, it's my thoughts. Aside from recording what I do on a daily basis, I share my feelings, observations, hopes, fears, crushes (these are the funniest to read back on), and emotions I'm currently experiencing.

Writing in my journal has made me a devoted and dedicated writer. Not only are those traits helpful in other areas of my life, but they've helped shape who I'm becoming. More importantly, however, is my takeaway from writing.

While I don't write from such a dark place like Rupi, I do write from the heart and it doesn't matter where you're coming from, as long as it's from within.

My biggest lesson from writing in a journal, besides the anticipation of re-reading them when I'm old (I had a crush on who??), is that expressing myself in my most vulnerable state has allowed me to become extremely self-aware. As I do with most writing, no matter if I start in a sour, mad, or depressed state of mind, I always end on a good note. Writing things down forces me to see the better picture and I end up inevitably finding peace with myself and seeing a solution to whatever problem I'm facing.

Writing is a way of expressing yourself, just like dance, or speech, and it is a part of me that I will continue to nurture and improve upon.

It's my greatest passion and I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm starting to think hey, maybe I can make a career out of this.

Until then, I'll write on.