Switching Things Over.

The time has come, and after months of hard work, I can finally announce that I have given my blog, Cashmere Con Panna, some much needed TLC.

As a result, I will no longer be using Blogger, but have instead spruced up a new site (new site design, all my old posts, and same old content written by an expressive young woman) on Squarespace.

I've been meaning to update the blog for awhile now, but I'm not the most savvy when it comes to technology, so it's taken a bit longer than anticipated.

But I've finally done it, and I am so proud and happy to share it with you!

The link to my new blog is as follows:

https://www.cashmereconpanna.com/

I hope you continue to follow along on my future journeys and mind's wanderings, if it suits you to do so.

I'm excited for this new change and for what the future has in store!

Here Comes The Sun.

I write to you from my bedroom.

The hour is just past 9:30pm and outside, the sun remains high in the sky.

Birds chirp through my open window, and temperatures still sit comfortably content at sixty-six degrees.

The thought of sleep is far, far away.

Summer in Alaska has arrived.

One of the most glorious times of the year is summer here in Alaska.

Although our bodies sometimes struggle to adjust to the mere five hour window of “darkness” (which is more like dusk anyway), and we dine later in the day (usually around 9pm), we look forward to this time of year and the opportunities it brings.

Gardening, fishing, hunting, hiking, and biking are just a few of the activities that keep most Alaskans happy and what draw tourists from all over the world to this wild and remote land.

My favorite part of summer?

The sunshine.

After months and months (and months) of darkness and cold, we are blessed with this incredible amount of sunshine that lingers on the horizon until near midnight and then barely dips down before popping up again at four in the morning.

Its warmth is contagious. There’s something about sunlight, and especially after so many months without it, that cure all winter blues (or any current blues). I instantly feel happier, prone to little acts of kindness (like buying a stranger a cup of coffee-iced, of course), and my mood is lifted as high as the sky. My shorts and tanks come out of their winter hibernation, and I often spend hours outside reading aloud to whomever will listen. Likely my cat or the birds.

Like the Beatles sing it best:

Here comes the sun

Here comes the sun, and I say

It’s alright…

Fry-Day With Friends.

It was just last Thursday that my sister, my best friend, and I were sitting in The Little Mermaid Café in Homer, eating fries. They were deliciously seasoned and we were just inhaling them, when all of a sudden, I said: It would have been better if we were eating these tomorrow.

Both my sister and Caroline ask: why?

Because, I said, tomorrow is fry-day.

If you have friends who can take your puns and still appreciate you as a normal human being, then you've got yourself some keepers.

I was reading the other day, and I came across a very inspiring section of the book that touched on the importance of female relationships. It began with the history of the term "lesbian", which was actually popularized in the 1920's to describe single women who had close bonds with each other (having nothing to do with sexual feelings).

Of course, throughout time, psychoanalysts discouraged social unions between women, fearing the disruption of the natural path of normal development and marriage. They were afraid of a revolution of single women!

Oh the power of being a single female.

With all of this in mind, I've decided to take a different approach to my impending move.

For awhile, when I've looked into where I've wanted to move, I've looked at cost of living, commute time, and type of job, which are all still very relevant, but I've also realized that a big influence on my personal growth, success, and happiness are the types of friends I have surrounding me.

I've lived in a big city before and felt loneliness and truly, there is immaculate power in having a solid group of friends close to you, rooting you on. 

It took a bad pun and a splendid day spent with my fellow cat-loving, homeschooled, feminist friend and my wise sister for me to figure that out, but better late than never!

So I thank you, friends of mine. For reminding me of the power of friendship and for putting up with my awkward-at-times puns. You have to admit though, they do give you a chuckle. That's just who I am! Bad puns are how eye-roll...

The Graduate.

It took a trip to Rochester, New York, and an unexpected dose of inspiration that got me on track again.

And I can thank my brother's graduation for that!

Five years ago, my brother graduated from high school and trucked it far far far away to the East Coast to attend the Rochester Institute of Technology. It was... not as he had hoped it would be, and there were definitely times of turmoil, but he pushed through and officially got that diploma!

Good for you, bro.

Like me, he's a recent graduate with no immediate job and is embracing this time of freedom by taking a road trip to the West Coast best coast.

While I wish I could also take a trip to the West Coast, I'm trying to appreciate this freedom I have at home and utilizing it in a way that will rejuvenate me for the future.

There was something about sitting there in that audience, hearing them talk so brightly of the future that just reminded me of that spark I once had. Since I returned home from London, it's been slightly dimmed due to doubt and anxiety, but during this ceremony, I felt jolted awake.

It allowed me to feel encouraged about the future once again, optimistic about what's ahead.

I just have to continue to remind myself: it's not about the end destination, it's about the journey that takes you there... And this journey has had many bumps in the road!

It's not a Krull family photo without all the goofy faces...

Well Red Woman.

"A well read woman is a dangerous creature."

What happens if you're well read and well red though? Double the danger?

If so, then I was one dangerous woman today.

See, one blessed thing about this break is my reconnection with reading. We haven't been in touch in awhile and it has been too long since I last visited the library and exited with a stack-full of books. Reading has been a part of my life since way back in the day and if you ask anyone from my grade school years, they'll remember an animated girl who read out loud, book inches from her face, and legs shaking up and down in excitement.

That being said, there is currently one book that I'm quite invested in by Rebecca Traister titled: All The Single Ladies.

It's educational, it's engaging, and it is all about girl power.

Thoroughly well-researched, this book delves into the history and trends of unmarried women and the rise of an independent nation. As a single woman myself, I was most intrigued, not out of hatred towards men (as most people assume feminists to be), nor out of my desire to stay single as a cat lady (although I am single and have been reading this to cats...), but out of curiosity.

And what I've gotten out of it so far, besides the horrendous treatment of women throughout the ages (did you know that one Harvard professor argued that "the female brain, if engaged in the same course of study as the male, would become overburdened and that wombs and ovaries would atrophy?") is that women simply want choice. With or without a husband, women desire freedom of choice in their career paths and they're continually breaking the mold of how a traditional woman should live (married at nineteen, and caregiver for the rest of their lives).

Now if that's how you want to live, then by all means! It's your choice, and not that of a man's.

Anyhow, it's well worth a read, as it is exceedingly eye-opening and inspiring.

So whether you're well read or well dressed in red, remember there's power to both. Hats off to whichever you choose...

Stumped.

It was an innocent enough day. There I was, twirling just feet from the edge of the bluff, when all of a sudden, a crackling was heard.

Panicked, I immediately retracted my steps from the edge, thinking my zealous spinning had in fact disrupted the bluff. I thought to myself I'm going down!

Turns out, a tree to my left, one that so treacherously hung out over the edge of the bluff, had finally fallen prey to gravity, and cracked, roots and all falling below to the ocean's edge.

I don't often have the opportunity of being present when a tree falls, and I have to say, it left me quite stumped.

Get it?

The timing, the setting, the witness to such a majestic tree succumbing to the natural erosion of the bluff... I couldn't be-leaf that I was lucky enough to see it go down!

Nature never ceases to awe me and humble me with its pure majesty. Not only have we seen many seasonal changes these past few weeks, but we've also been present for more than a few earthquakes that shook the house and reminded us of our place here on earth.

It's all very unpredictable and keeps us on our toes. Kind of like life: you think it's going steady and strong one moment, and then the next, a tree falls and it leaves you feeling stumped!

So even though the trees are falling and the earth is shaking, I'll keep on twirling on the bluff's edge... 

Don't Hiss Me Off.

Lately, I've been receiving a lot of pressure about finding a job.

Whether that's external, or internal (probably mostly internal), I can't help but feel rebellious towards this expected step in life.

It's all part of the "plan". You graduate high school, you go to college, and then you find a job and voila. It's the traditional move up the ladder.

Well if you've learned anything by now, I'm not the traditional sort of gal.

Yes, I graduated high school and I went to college, but I sure as hell am not about to jump into a job for the sake of "having a job." And while I was not looking forward to this return home a few months ago, I now feel incredibly... rested.

My dad likes to call it "living the life of leisure", which of course there's some truth to (naps, naps, and more naps), but I prefer to look at this transition as an opportunity to take the time I need to figure out what I want to do next, without pressure.

Now I know I'm lucky to be able to live at home (for the time being) with supportive parents in regards to this break. And I know that not everyone can have the leisure of taking some time to figure things out.

What I'm getting at is that there shouldn't be this compulsion to do what the rest of society deems as the conventional way of life. Circumstances are different for everyone, I'm sure, but I'm a big believer in pursuing what makes your heart sing and if you have the opportunity to take a job immediately, or if you're like me and have the shot at taking that break for the sake of recouping, then do you!

Your life is your own.

And while I know it's not personal when people make snide comments about "moving out, finding that job that pays the rent, and being an adult", I nonetheless feel a little... hissed off at the expectation of living this way.

I'm young, and I love to be young. I'm free, and I love to be free. To live the life the way I want, to say and do whatever I please.

Lesley Gore sings it best.

I'm twenty-one years old and I have my whole book ahead of me. Taking a few months to decide what my next chapter will be won't do anything but make me more assured and confident going forward.

So the next time someone chides you for "living at home", or looks at you with that condescending look when you've returned to work at the local coffee shop, smile sweetly and don't let it hiss you off.