Mexico, 2009. I was fourteen years old, just going through puberty. I remember clearly because away went my skinny straight frame and in came my hips. We're moving in! they shouted as my body started to grow into its womanly form.
This is the photo:
And I remember, as clear as day, that I truly and honestly believed I was fat. My dad had posted the photo on Facebook saying something about his beautiful children (that's my brother), and I remember being so ashamed because I thought I was chubby.
Holy hot dang, what was I thinking? Looking back now, I see this good looking fourteen year old with a killer hourglass shape and somehow I thought I was fat?!
Of course, since then, I've grown up quite a bit, figure-atively and literally. It was during that time that I was trying to get into modeling, and where I was once considered by the top agencies such as Elite Model Management (I was twelve), I was just as quickly shoved into a category of "you don't really fit in."
But of course, when one door shuts, another opens. For me, I simply carved my own door and thus a new passion has sprung forth- my desire to edit my own magazine promoting healthy body image, self-love, and empowerment. You see, I look back now and see that everything happened for a reason. I can't imagine being a model now, size 11 feet being shoved into too-small Prada's, restricting myself of the joys in life, coffee and carbs, and constantly struggling in an industry that is so image obsessed.
Looking at this photo reminds me of a lot of things. One: you are not fat. You have fat. You also have fingernails, but you are not fingernails. Two, life is far too precious to spend it being consumed over how you look, especially where your body is pertained. Live a healthy life and it shall treat you in return.
And most important, I thank those gosh darn hips for moving in and teaching me that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
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