I've recently dabbled in the dating scene here in London. Patiently, I waited the first month or so waiting for some dapper English gentleman to whisk me off my feet, maybe meeting on the tube, in a pub, or even at the club (although dapper English gentleman don't frequent the club). Frustrated at the lack of no one, my friends suggested I have a go on one of those dating websites, like Tinder or Bumble.
At first, I was leery because of the reputation of one night stands, but they encouraged me to see it as a way of meeting people, as it's sometimes awkward to meet people, especially in a new country.
And so I got it. And there were dates, mostly successful, but if there's a few things I've learned about the dating scene in Europe, it's that British men aren't very communicative. Or assertive. And they're usually only interested in one night stands, at least the ones I've met.
Which is a conundrum. My ideas of Jude Law in The Holiday and Hugh Grant in Notting Hill have quickly been replaced by airy, grabby, empty promisers, and kind of disinterested little boys.
So the apps went bye bye about a week later, leaving me some time to reflect and think about this all.
What I'm finding, is that it's not entirely the men's fault here. While they are very different from American men, the issue I have with 21st century dating is the method in which it is done.
Call me old-fashioned, but I always believed that the guy I would date would approach me, like I said so in the beginning. But nowadays, while we're so addicted to our screens, we have lost the valuable skill of communicating. Relationships are harder now because conversations become texting, arguments become phone calls, and feelings become status updates. And this addiction to online communication has caused "detrimental" effects on how we interact with each other.
While I know there are exceptions to Tinder and Bumble, I've just found it to be ineffective for me. I prefer to meet people the old-fashioned way and if I have to wait ten years for it, so be it, for the longer you wait for something, the more you appreciate it when you get it. Because anything worth having is always worth the wait.
That's not to say I didn't have fun though! And I learned a lot about myself. It's good to put yourself out there and meet new people and discover what you do and don't like. Alongside all of this, I have also found that being single is actually quite fun. It's good to explore a different country as an independent and confident single woman, as this is your time and you learn to become comfortable with who you are wholly.
So for now, it's all about me and my time. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.
What I wore: light pink Ted baker dress with rhinestone shoulders (consignment), and Ted Baker hot pink coat (Nordstrom Rack).