Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Brave Face On.

So I had a slightly rough morning today. I know it's only the second week of school and everything, but I already loathe it. My classes are boring as all get out and there's so much of this fake judgy atmosphere that it could fog my car. I can't stand being there. And although I have some friends who are by my side, it still doesn't make being at that monster of a high school completely bearable. It was one of those mornings where I absolutely DID NOT want to go to school and I probably could've skipped had it been sophomore year when skipping was a common habit, but not this year. It's only the second week and I've checked out. I'm also struggling with some slight homesickness of AZ and every time I hear a song that reminds me of my time there, I get sad. And I shut people out and retreat to my room and suffer alone without talking to someone. I thought I had gotten over this phase, but being back at school has surfaced all these feelings again. So there were tears and eye clenching ( and not pretty like Lea Michele does on GLEE) and heaves of gut wrenching sadness and depression. But you know, people read these feelings just by my walk down the hall and my swollen eyes and instead of suffering the whole day which I would've preferred, I had to put on a brave face and move on. I had a talk with my mom, and I'm going to try reaching out to my friends and family like my fellow AZ friends did to me when I was feeling sad. It's time to take those memories that make me sad and turn them into gleeful memories. I should be grateful that they happened instead of never getting to experience them. Overall, my new mantra is Imagine Dragons's IT'S TIME. 

What I wore: cream pearl dangly earrings (birthday gift from my favorite sister), a vintage floral tip (used), red J CREW shorts, and COLE HAAN men's loafers (used). 

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